Chorus: We don't question the almighty dudes,
cause they were born in the big surf board in the sky.
The Big Kahuna is forever young

Evil dudes grow out of bad things
If King is really out of it,
than the Sun Surfer will prove him

If some dude does something wrong,
He will be wiped out by some great wave.
If bad things are done by a dude
No mortal surfer can save him.

We’re not trustin’ no more dudes
‘bout seeing the future waves.
Yo, Great Surfer, If you such a Big Kahuna why don’t you help us.
If not, may wipe out eternally.
J: Like I think for sure, that maybe we should talk to the gods, like
An’ see what they say.
Oedipus can’t like think right
and he, like, keeps thinking about more stuff.
So, He’s not gonna listen to me,
So, mabe he’ll, like listen to Apollo
Messenger: Can you tell me good sirs, where I might perchance find the one
they call Sir Oedipus.
C: This is the house where the king and queen dudes live.
M: God save the Queen and let her be blessed with bountiful offspring.
J: Same to you, guy. Ha ha, you’re like too nice. What do you totally want?
M: I bring to you this day, sweet news for the family of the king.
J: Like what are you talking about and where are you from?
M: I come from Corinth and I have bloody good news for the king, but it comes with bad overtone.
J: Like if its bad how is it good, Like are you gonna tell me or not?
M: The blighters of Corinth desire King Oedipus as their ruler.
J: Like, there’s no king or what?
M: He is not only no longer the king, but rather is dead.
J: Oedipus’s dad’s dead, for sure?
M: I bloody bet my life he’s dead.
J:Like, go get the king, my girl.
Who, wait a second here,
The oracle said that he would kill his father
But he can’t now, right?
(Oedipus enters)
O: tell me what ‘chew thinking man? Calling me out o’ma casa.
J: Like, why don’t you just listen to what this messenger man has to say.
O:What’s your beef, thug?
J: He’s from like . . . um, Corinth and like, he say syour dad’s dead or something, like.
O: iz dis here true
M: It tis true how thelady speaks, our father, King Polybus, has passed on.
O: Did he get ganked or ill?
M: Old age was what got him.
O: My pop’s dead, and sickness did him in sho’nuff.
M: Yes, because he was bloody old.
O: why does wez care bout dem fucha seeas
cause they’s been sayin’ I was s’posed ta knock off my pops.
But he be chillin’ under the ground and I haven’t touch’d im.
these fucha seea’s ain’t worth a dime.
J: Like didn’t I just tell you that, duh
O: Yeah, you said that, but I was trippin’
J: like, don’t worry anymore, it’s over
O: I don’t wanna be loungin’ with my ma in her crib.
J: Don’t worry. Just don’t think about. What will happen will happen, for sure
Like, don’t worry about that thing with your mother
If you don’t think about it, it won’t happen
O: Yeah that’s great an’ all, but ma’s livin’
J: Yeah, but at least, like, your dad’s dead.
O: As long as ma’s alive, I’ll still be trippin’
M: Which lady is the source of your troubles.
O: Merope, me madre, yo
M: What is the bloody problem with your own mother?
O: Some thug gave me some bad advice.
M: May the honor be bestowed on me to know of your troubles?
O: I’ll tell you, sucka
Some thug said that I would getz with me motha
and knock off pops
That’s why I bounced outta Corinth
M: Good sir, my king, I know quite well how to quell your fears.
O: That would be da bomb.
M: Why that was the source of my travels, to bring the good word to you.
O: I ain’t goin’ where they at.
M: Good sir, you know not what you do.
O: What’ch you talkin’ bout, boy.
M: Is that the only thing keeping you away.
O: All, you sucka? I be fearin’ the wrath of the grand thug Apollo.
M: Is it that you fear you will harm yourself and your poor parents?
O: Right. Always am I fearin’ my fate
M: Can you not see anything wrong with your bloody thoughts?
O: What friggin’ bloody thoughts. I be their friggin’ son.
M: That is where you are wrong good sir, as the great King Polybus was
not your father.
O: How are you playin’ me? Am I not pops’s?
M: No, sir, you are not!
O: Are you disin’ my pops?
M: Sir, you have it bloody wrong. He was never your father, just as I
was not your father.
O: Den why was I called his boy, yo?
M: You were not his, but rather some other’s. I was the one who brought
you to the King.
O: He r’spect’d me even though I was some other thug’s.
M: That was due to the fact that the King had no little blighters of
his own.
O: So Sucka, am I your kid or some otha thug’s.
M: You were found by me in the Valleys called Cithaeron.
O: My own Crib! Wy was you there?
M: Once I was a shepherd in your lands.
O: A sheep thug! Was you skippin’ cribs to make your dough.
M: Yes, but you have forgotten, I was the one who rescued you as a
bloody child.
O: Why’d I need your help?
M: Look at your feet, you bloody fool
O: Why j’you gotst ta remind me?
M: I was the one who removed the bloomy pins from your feet
O: So dat was what was messin’ with me all my life.
M: And that is the source of your name, Oedipus
O: So who was tha sucka who gave me my friggin’ name?
M: That I do not know, gov.
O: So have you been messin’ wit me/ You sez you had found me.
M: Some other blighter, a shepherd, I do believe, asked me to take you.
O: Whose this sucka?
M: I believe that he was one from Läius’s kingdom.
O: Lay-dog! The forma boss of my crib?
M: Aye. Twas the same.
O: Then it be in yo best interest to find thois sucka before I get
medieval on
ya.
M: You would know best, gov.
O: Does any thug in my crib kow of this sheep h é†
C: Lord Dude, he measn the country dude who you want here or somethin
Anyway, he might know more than queeny
O: Yo woman, the posse raps that they be the same peeps
Was he that homee?
J:Like, forget bout him, don’t wste the space in your head
O: Yo, I can’t aright. I can’t have the beets without puttin them into a rap.
J: stop it, for sure! If you care like for me or you, just let it be babe
O: Yo just cause I’m not royalty and you don’t wanna have yor blood be skany don’t mean i shouldn’t now da true word.
J: stop it now for sure
O: I won’t stop bouncin to da truth
J: Like i’m only trying to protect you babe
O: Thats cool but i don’t need that yo
J: Jeez, like you cna’t know
O:Yo a homee in my posse go grab the sheep thug, screw da queen and he pride in her posse’s blood.
J: Like this sucks. Finally i’ll give you a name, Wretched, for sure you are wretched.